Kiwi Speak

Even though New Zealanders allegedly speak the same language as Americans, at times, we simply have no idea what they are saying.  To begin with there is the Kiwi accent - they tend to elongate their e’s and, on some words, they put the emphasis on a different syllable than we do thus making certain words unintelligible. For example, inventory is inVENtory, controversy is conTRAvesy, aluminium is ALuMINium and so on.  News broadcasters are pretty easy to understand and we usually are ok talking face-to-face.   But – over the phone it can be very difficult.  When we attended a session of Parliament (or should I say a shouting match between the members of parliament), we missed at least 25% of what they were saying. 

Coming from California, we don’t have any accent (yeah, right); after all, we speak the same English as the Hollywood movie stars. But, here in NZ, all we have to say is two words and they ask what part of the states we are from.  Once at a food and beverage show, I asked for a taste of Amber Ale – all I said was Amber Ale – and I was immediately asked where I came from and could I keep talking because they loved my accent.  Izzy must have a very strong accent because he is frequently asked to repeat himself. 

Then, there is the whole metric system thing.  American’s were too lazy to learn the metric system, thus we are stuck with a system no one else understands.  Temperatures, mileage, food weights and quantities of gasoline are just a few things we have to try to convert back to a system our simple minds will understand.  Even when I asked for an inch to be cut off my hair, I got a weird look.

About 99% of the words and expressions are the same, but we have accumulated the following list of uniquely Kiwi words (some of which must have been inherited from the British).

Across the Ditch = across the Tasman Sea to Australia (sometimes the reference is just to The Ditch)

All Blacks = the much-loved National Rugby Team – the 2011 World Champions!!

Anzac Day = National holiday similar to Memorial Day
Aotearoa = land of the long white cloud (Maori name for New Zealand)

Bach = small holiday house, usually at the beach

Beehive = the Parliament building in Wellington
Biscuit = cookie
Bloke = ordinary guy

Booking = reservation at a restaurant or a theater or for travel
Boot = car trunk

Bubbles = champagne

Capsicum = red bell pepper

Cheers = thanks, goodbye, good luck ("cheers mate") – heard at least 100 times a day
Cheeky = rude

Cheeky monkey = a wise guy
Chemist = pharmacy, drug store
Chips = French fries – served with everything (even pizza)

Chocolate fish = a chocolate covered marshmallow in the shape of a fish, sometimes given with coffee or tea; also a famous café in Wellington

College = high school ( college is called university)

Fair go = appeal for fairness (give us a break)

Fags = cigarettes

Fine = when referring to weather, a sunny day (as in, Wellington is fine today)
Footie = rugby

Football = soccer
Fringes = bangs – like in a hair style

Gas hobs = gas cook top
Gidday = hello
Good as Gold = everything is OK – used mainly by men over 40

Guy Fawkes Day = pronounced Fox – a semi-holiday celebrating the failure of a plot to blow up the British Parliament in 1605.  Celebrated with elaborate fireworks

Haka = dance done by All Blacks before each rugby game to frighten the opponents Hangi = traditional Maori earth oven – method of cooking food Hokey-pokey = pieces of golden sugar candy or a caramel like ice cream flavor Holiday = vacation House surgeon = an intern at the hospital  Sleeping policeman = speed bumps Keen = strong desire (used a lot) Kia ora = Maori greeting - hi, hello, thanks Kiwi = a New Zealander Kiwi = NZ native flightless bird. The kiwi is unusual in at least two respects. First, it is the only bird in the world that has its nostrils at the end of its beak. Second, the female kiwi has the largest egg, in proportion to its body size, of any bird in the world. Kiwis are about the same size as chickens, but their eggs are almost as big as those of ostriches! Kiwi = “The Kiwi” means the NZ dollar Kumara = A type of sweet potato unique to NZ – served everywhere – we love them! Lemonade = 7-up or Sprite Lift = elevator (an elevator is an escalator) Lolly = candy Loo = toilet (they use portaloo’s instead of porta-potties) Lounge = living room Lovely = feminine version of “good as gold” Maori = Polynesian race that settled New Zealand 1000 years before Europeans; approximately 15% of the population are Maori’s Mains = entrees (on a menu)  Mate = man Message minder = voice mail Mister = a surgeon at the hospital Mobile = (pronounced moBILE) cell phone Morning tea = short break from work mid-morning MP = member of Parliament Mum or mummy = mother Nappy = baby diaper Netball = women’s basketball without backboard and no dribbling No worries = not a problem, easy (used frequently) N Zed = New Zealand OE = overseas experience (working holiday abroad) – some people say My Great OE or the Big OE On the dole = on welfare Pakeha = Maori term for person of European descent Partner = person you share a romantic involvement with – married, gay or straight Petrol = gas Peter Jackson = academy award-winning director of Lord of the Rings and King Kong (a virtual god in New Zealand) PM = Prime Minister Queue = a waiting line (the queue for open heart surgery is one year!) Registrar = a resident at the hospital Return = round trip Roundabouts = a traffic circle used in many places instead of traffic lights or stop signs – sometimes you go round and round before you figure out how to get out  Sultana = raisin Scheme = plan (used a lot for government programs – there is no negative connotation) Scott Base = NZ’s base in Antarctica (next to the US base, McMurdo) – a real source of national pride.  They do a lot of research in Antarctica. Scrum = a bizarre group hug in rugby where all the players of both teams form a tight circle with their arms around each other (needs to be seen to be believed) Sickie = sick day Silver Ferns = women’s national netball team Smoko = short break from work Sparkie = an electrician Sunnies = sunglasses Surgery = a GP’s outpatient clinic Superannuation = retirement plan Take-away = food or drinks to go Tall Blacks = National basketball team Tea = evening meal Test = a game (as in rugby or basketball) Theatre = operating room To let = for rent Toilet = public restroom Torches = flashlights Trade Me = a web site similar to Craig’s List Trim milk = low-fat milk (extra trim is non-fat milk, but it is hard to find) Trolley = shopping cart Vege = pronounced veggie (vegetables) Wee = small (used a lot) Whilst = while (often seen in print) Won’t be a moment = whenever they say this, it will be a long wait Yeees = yes - pronounced with a very long eZed = the letter Z, as in N Zed